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Michael Clayton:

October 15th, 2007

I give it three stars out of five. A movie about Lawyers Without Consciences and Bad Corporate Executives has to present truly creative ways of getting to its conclusion, especially when the hero is another person who does Bad Things.

That would be George Clooney, the law firm’s officially unacknowledged Fixer, who, in this story, graduates from Damage Control for an SOB who ran over somebody with his car and Didn’t Stop to getting a situation under control for UNorth, a Bad Chemical Company, and his firm, which is full of portentous people in white shirts who spend their harried lives in conference rooms working Feverishly to accomplish an Important Merger with Another Law Firm while Hiding the Truth about one of UNorth’s agricultural chemicals, which is Killing People.

Clooney, as Clooney-Clayton, has a Bad Gambling Problem and a Bankrupt Bar brought down in no small degree by his Troubled Brother, who Uses Drugs. That brother is not to be confused with the Good Brother, who is a New York Police Detective.

If I were writing this movie, I would get the Good Brother to help the Fixer Brother to bring down the Chemical Company and create havoc with The Merger. Of course, both the Good Brother and the Fixer Brother have to bend the rules to accomplish this, the first by providing Clooney-Clayton with an illegal means of entry to the loft apartment of the Brilliant but Bipolar Lawyer who wanted to spill the beans about UNorth but got murdered by the UNorth’s People first.

Clooney-Clayton merely took $80,000 in Hush Money from The Firm so he could pay off his debts related to the bar before Messing Things Up for The Firm by turning up Alive when he should have been Dead with the Evidence that will Ruin the chemical company’s Good Name.

UNorth’s president is a Middle-Aged Woman filmed in Unflattering Light who crumples  to her knees when Clooney-Clayton confronts her. She undoubtedly is Retching on the Floor as the camera pulls away, which is Better than She Deserved and Not as Bad as she’s going to get.

Clearly the Only Way to begin this story is toward The End, when Clooney-Clayton’s car gets blowed up at dawn after he He gets out to look at The Pretty Horses standing stock still in a Pasture Without a Fence he’d have to climb over.

Then it jumps back Four Days, in which he demonstrates an Inhuman Ability to Go Without  Sleep and eliminates any need for a Love Interest.

The Fixer has Enough Problems as it is.

58 responses so far ↓

Pamela // Oct 15, 2007 at 6:14 pm

Joe, do you live in an icehouse?
…just wondering.

Md. Mama // Oct 15, 2007 at 7:04 pm

I use to love George Clooney when he was in ER. I even liked him in “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” But George Clooney never seems to play anyone but himself in anything I’ve seen him in. There is never any character development that I see, unless he is type cast or the part is specifically written for his “type”. Plus, I sorta lived through the Bad Corporate Executives Without Consciences thing, so I really don’t need to pay money to see that… with that said, I suppose I’ll wait until it comes on inDemand, maybe.

BTW, you may get the lady folk riled up with your last statement. I, however, will behave and make no written comment……………

Joe // Oct 15, 2007 at 7:24 pm

MM, that was an unavoidable throwaway line. It’s not personal, it just fits the tone of the piece — tough guy with a heart of stone.
And, it might incite the masses, which could be fun.

Annette // Oct 15, 2007 at 8:15 pm

Ok, people. Leave my George Clooney alone. He can do no wrong. I am just waiting for him to leave those young girls alone and come back to a real woman, like me. ha, ha.
I do want to see that movie. I still wish he would do a love story or something lighter.

Joe // Oct 15, 2007 at 8:16 pm

All in favor of Looney Clooney say Aye.

Annette // Oct 15, 2007 at 8:25 pm

Joe you are so jealous of Clooney. We all know it

Katherine // Oct 15, 2007 at 8:40 pm

I Love Georgie!!
and he looks good too, I might add.

I read something about that movie, where it was similar to the one Julia Roberts was in… !
(Let’s make plans Annette!)

Mary in C'burg // Oct 15, 2007 at 9:11 pm

Clooney Schlooney…..

Hector Alizondo!!!!! Ay-yii-yiiiiiiiii

Annette // Oct 15, 2007 at 9:38 pm

What about the new James Bond?
Who is your fav. James Bond
Sean Connery or Daniel Craig

I bet Joe is watching baseball

Md. Mama // Oct 15, 2007 at 9:59 pm

Don’t get me wrong, Georgie’s not bad to look at……sort of a dark Brad Pitt type, a one note kinda guy….no I’ll take that back, Pitt has actually ‘acted’ in a couple of movies. My 2 favorite Brad Pitt movies, “Legends of the Fall” and “The Fight Club”. I must say, a prerequisite for me is a nice lookin’ fella that can act, too. I’ve gotten picky in my ‘mature’ age!

Annette // Oct 15, 2007 at 11:15 pm

Well, I would not turn George or Brad away.(this is my fantasy talking). I think they are both fine actors. One of my new favorite actor is Ryan Gosling. He was in Notebook and lately some good ones too. That movie he was in and it played at the Grandin where he played a teacher using drugs. That was some good acting.He was up for best actor for that. I just rented the one he was in with Anthony Hopkins playing a DA. The actor to watch. Of course when I saw the new James Bond movie I went crazy for Daniel Craig. Even my son who is not gay said he was nice looking. Something about a British accent drives a girl crazy.
Katherine; Lets go see that George Clooney movie.

This is for the guys; Joe and Andrew, who is your favorite woman TV or movie stars?

Good night and good luck

MK // Oct 16, 2007 at 1:25 am

Antonio Banderas has my votem but George Clooney’s fine too. I loved “Take the Lead” with Banderas starring as an inner city school teacher. No more spoilers on this one. Get thee to Replay in Southeast Roanoke and purchase a copy of this movie, girls, you won’t regret it. Think “Dirty Dancing” with a tango. It’s a feel good flick.

And no one, I mean NO ONE can touch Sean Connery.
He’s got IT. Always has, always will.

I watched baseball today, but had to leave before seeing the finals. I’m hoping the Cleveland Indians held onto their 4 - 2 lead…

It was my rest day today. Thank goodness. In all my laundry doings yesterday I managed to wash my son’s friend’s jeans with IPOD, money, and all. Yup. So today I went shopping for a replacement NANO (that’s $200, friends, at Target). I’d feel sorry for myself, but I’m still feeling too stupid for words.

Think I’ll go and re-touch my blonde hair, sigh.

Janet // Oct 16, 2007 at 8:53 am

Wow….you must have gotten a lot of flack over that line about the fixer having woman problems ’cause it’s gone! What was said for you to remove it? I gotta say I’m surprised that you gave in and removed it.

As for bad boys, I’m kinda partial to Tommy Lee Jones. :)

Pamela // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:27 am

I see Joe is an equal opportunity editor.
Way to be!

Md. Mama // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:49 am

MK- Thumbs up all around for “Take the Lead”. I have a fondness for dance movies, even though most of them are not very well acted. I will say that I do have a weakness for Antonio, even though I don’t think he is a fabulous actor, I have always enjoyed his movies. I can’t say how many times I’ve watched “Zorro” or “The 13th Warrior”. I also agree with you on Sean Connery, he’s the man! Sorry about your iPod troubles…ouch!

Joe // Oct 16, 2007 at 10:10 am

P,

Equal opportunity, equally annoying … it’s all the same to me.

Annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 10:44 am

Mk, Antonio Banderas is pretty hot but he wife . Have you seen her lately? She has had so much surgery, she can not move her face. She use to be so cute not she looks like she has her Halloween face on. As for bad boys , I liked Tony Soprano.

Annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 10:46 am

Joe. you are too funny. How is that painting working out?

Pamela // Oct 16, 2007 at 11:02 am

Just to clear up something with the ladies…
I do not want to live the life of Pamela Anderson because of her choice in men. Neither Tommy Lee nor Kid Rock appeal to me.
I want to live the life where one is PAID to come to parties. She was recently PAID to smash a bottle of chanmpagne on the nose of a new jet for Southwest Airlines. That’s a job I could come to love.
Not that I am into the partying scene as in all the riff-raff that goes with that. But the part where you are just in the room with fascinating people of the contemporary arts. To watch the real life movie of THOSE people would be in’erestin’…
No, my taste in movie actors are guys like Jeff Bridges, John Cusack, and Jake Gyllenhaal. They are real character actors.
Jake with Jennifer Anniston in The Good Girl, a wonderful story.
So guys, which women actors do you enjoy?
Anyone……Anyone?

Md. Mama // Oct 16, 2007 at 12:48 pm

This will date me a bit, but that’s ok, I’m use to it…my favorite bad boy was David Lee Roth when he was with Van Halen. Now he’s most likely as tame as a kitten and 10 minutes older than dirt, like me.

Another dance feel good flick is “Shall We Dance?”. I am very fond of Richard Gere, although he’s not the worlds best actor, either. There’s something about him…. I can take or leave JLo. But this movie has some decent talent in it, Susan Sarandon being one.

Mary in C'burg // Oct 16, 2007 at 1:15 pm

Beer Joke:

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

‘I would like a Sprite,’ said the first little piggy.
‘I would like a Coke,’ said the second little piggy.
‘I want beer, lots and lots of beer,’ said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

‘I want a nice big steak,’ said the first piggy.
‘I would like the salad plate,’ said the second piggy.
‘I want beer, lots and lots of beer,’ said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

‘I want a banana split,’ said the first piggy.
‘I want a cheesecake,’ said the second piggy.
‘I want beer, lots and lots of beer,’ exclaimed the third little piggy.

‘Pardon me for asking,’ said the waiter to the third little piggy,’ But why have you only ordered beer all evening?’

The third piggy says -

‘Well, somebody has to go ‘Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

MK // Oct 16, 2007 at 1:39 pm

LOL! Really! I hope it’s OK if I share it with all my friends (if I can remember it)…

Joke telling is not my strong suit, but how I love to hear/read good ones.

annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 1:45 pm

MD. Oh yes, I love that movie :Shall we Dance”
Richard Gere has been my for for ever, I remember going to see that at the movies and it was not many there. I went with my daughter and her friend. Remember when he comes up the stairs with his tux on with flowers to come get his wife. I let out the biggest scream. He was so sexy in that tux. Like I have always said , nothing better than a man in a tux.

Md. Mama // Oct 16, 2007 at 1:57 pm

Mary - love a new spin on an old tale.

And, Joe, here is some VERY trivial information for you….and, of course, you may already be aware of this….you have had 1,112 comments on your blog to date…well, 1,113 including this one.
What can I say, I’m having a slow day today! :)

Mary in C'burg // Oct 16, 2007 at 4:38 pm

When my step-mother died back in July, my baby brother and I stayed with my Dad for a week after the memorial service. He has one of those satellite thingies with 4 bigillion channels (I have 3 channels). He would toddle off to bed around 9 p.m. and my brother and I would sit up and surf channels. The last evening we were there he was flip-flip-flipping through the selections and landed on Shall We Dance.

He insisted that I watch the movie and I really didn’t want to because I was tired. He insisted. “Its a really good movie!” So we watched it beginning to end.

Well…. by the end of the movie he and I were both in tears (the old softie) and he was saying “See? See! I told you it was good!”

I still just can’t get excited about Richard Gere!
He has a nice smile but there is something that just doesn’t float my boat about him.

Did anyone see The Fastest Indian? I just love Sir Anthony Hopkins. Sometimes young dudes just don’t have that certain something that more mature men have. Maybe thats it - - Richard Gere hasn’t matured enough.

My first “crush” on a television actor happened when I was a kid. Clint Eastwood played Rowdy Yates on television in the western Rawhide. You seldom, if ever, see a western with anyone wearing their cowboy hat like he did….. with a leather strap hanging down under his chin. I was smitten.

Pamela // Oct 16, 2007 at 4:54 pm

Well, I was gonna grow up and marry Little Joe and live on the Ponderosa.

Md. Mama // Oct 16, 2007 at 5:47 pm

“Shall We Dance” has such a tender moment in it at the end with Gere & Sarandon (the flower/tux scene)I always get teary-eyed at that part. (of course, I get teary-eyed at good dog food commercials, too).

I like Anthony Hopkins, too, he’s a fine actor. Another fine actor, who is mature and one of my personal favorites, it Patrick Stewart. He use to be on Star Trek as Jon Luc Picard. He has also been in all the X-Men movies (with Hugh Jackman, another nice lookin’ fella with loads of talent, a triple threat) What I use to love the most about Patrick Stewart, is when he use to be the spokesperson for Pontiac. Their slogan was “Pontiac Excitement”. I loved the way he would say that! I know it’s strange thing to like, but that’s what happens when you live with someone who does advertising for a living for 29 years! Anyway, Patrick Stewart is a very versatile actor who has also done Shakespeare.

Uh,oh,….listen….I hear Joe putting out an All Points Blog Bulletin…..Calling All Guys…..Please!!…..Where Are You!!!!!!

Joe // Oct 16, 2007 at 5:51 pm

Joe is busy working three jobs so he can pay Andrew. You folks are going to have to recruit men on your own.

Md. Mama // Oct 16, 2007 at 6:10 pm

I don’t think we’ve done a very good job of recruiting….we’ve no doubt scared them all away!

Gosh, did Andrew hit you for a pay raise in order to keep him silent about….you know…the job? :)

Annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 7:25 pm

MD
Since you like Anthony Hopkins, be sure to see that movie called Fracture. It is on video now. It is really intense. Good acting.

Annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 7:26 pm

What are your three jobs Joe?

Joe // Oct 16, 2007 at 7:36 pm

1. Spokesmodel for Grecian Formula (they colorize the after shots).

2. Community gadfly specializing in potholes and people who don’t use their turn signals.

3. Aspiring author. First book due: March 11,2806.

Md. Mama // Oct 16, 2007 at 7:51 pm

Very impressive, glad you’re staying busy. :) Isn’t there an expression about ‘idle hands’? (I better be careful here, I may be giving Pam more material for her novelette):)

Correction: Hockey AND Baseball. Hmmm….it might be time to start Book Five of The Dresden Files or start Running with Scissors. Decisions, decisions……

Annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:16 pm

Joe. I thought I saw you on a info commercial at 3 in the morning trying to sell Grecian Formula.Your hair looked great and so did your beard.

Annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:18 pm

So men, well Joe and Andrew, you never did say who is your favorite actress?

Mary in C'burg // Oct 16, 2007 at 9:45 pm

Hey Joe…. question: When you started this blog you probably had some vision of what you wanted it to be…. Has it turned out to be anywhere close to that vision? Is it what you anticipated it would be or is it turning out to be a very different animal.

Personally - - - I think are more men reading Joe’s blog than we think. They probably just choose not to comment.

And as for Andrew’s tip jar… I considered pasting naked ladies on it but changed my mind today. Not sure now how I’ll decorate it but I guarantee it’ll be snazzy.

Night all :-)

Md. Mama // Oct 16, 2007 at 10:06 pm

Mama Update:

1st semester freshman college son + girlfriend + 8 hrs. from home + cell phone = bad news

I am still trying to wrap my brain around this, 6000 minutes? In a month? YIKES!!!!

Joe // Oct 16, 2007 at 11:04 pm

6,000 minutes takes the prize. I’m used to 2,000 minutes and, last month, 2,000 text messages on my daughter’s phone. We had a talk. She says she has changed her plan.
It’s priorities, mom — girlfriend or education, girlfriend or education. I know which I took when I was his age.
Now, of course, I’d choose differently. Those girlfriends taught me a lot.

Joe // Oct 16, 2007 at 11:09 pm

MC, this blog in no way resembles anything I envisioned. I’m going to talk to Andrew about this tomorrow.
He says it has remarkable participation and readership (he suspects the presence of many lurkers). I don’t know about its value.
I do know I’ve done much less reporting than I anticipated, mostly because reporting is so time-consuming.
I’m seriously studying the issue of possible conflicts between this and my new job.
So, yes, this is a far different animal. Still beats the RT, though.
Except in pay.

Joe // Oct 16, 2007 at 11:12 pm

Annette, Sean Connery is about the only male actor I can think of. Michael Caine is a good actor, but not a favorite.
Female actors, as they say nowadays? I barely know any of them — Julia Roberts, of course. Otherwise, I draw a blank. I go to movies and appreciate good acting but the names elude me.
Andrew, chip in here. I’m surprised you haven’t.

Annette // Oct 16, 2007 at 11:36 pm

Joe, I do have a topic I would like you to write about before you get so busy with your new job and do not have time for your blog. Explain what a day or a week was like trying to get a story and all the facts and then get it in the paper. I know one time last year, I wrote you to see if you would do something on a Greek friend at Edinburgh Square Retirement Home that had passed away. He was my best friend and a hero of mine. I had submitted him in the paper for one of the heroes segment. They did a wonderful article on him. The caption was “Mr Everything”. I thought you might write something on him. But I never heard from you. I’m sure you had so many people wanting their stories heard. I am just interested in what was all involved with trying to get a story in the paper. I do miss your column.

How’s that painting coming along? (You keep avoiding this question).

Have a good night and a great Wednesday.

Katherine // Oct 17, 2007 at 7:46 am

As I catch up here, none of you have mentioned Kevin Costner or Denzel.?. Both easy on the eyes & good actors too! I can only think of one thing when I see Richard and I won’t go there. He DOES have the charm~
What about Alec Baldwin? .. tho hearing about his personal life, he doesn’t sound like such a good guy but I’d watch him in anything. And there’s only ‘one James Bond’ that’s for sure.

And where are the men lurkers? I can’t think of the names of the good actresses I like either.

Joe, Annette asked you a question you’ve been avoiding. Got any paint stuck between your fingers?

Janet // Oct 17, 2007 at 8:45 am

Hmmm…..would your new job be something to do with public relations, Joe? :)

Joe // Oct 17, 2007 at 9:26 am

I’ll interact with the public but I am not a PR person in the sense of doing damage control, speaking the news media and that sort of thing. Nor is that the title, though that’s a good guess.

Md. Mama // Oct 17, 2007 at 9:38 am

Re: Son/cell phone - tough love time. We cut off his cell phone, at least until my husband’s blood pressure gets back to a normal range! He’s a smart kid with LOTS of potential in his major. Just no common sense. Perfect example of testosterone inhibiting brain function. Raising boys is a WHOLE different beast then raising girls. Even in my college daughter’s worst cell phone heyday, she never got close to that number of minutes!

RE: Blog - Your blog has been a very enjoyable past time. Many blogs I have read, people don’t always comment, but people are reading them, I’m sure. I know with your upcoming job it will be hard for you to keep up with the blog - but it has been great fun and thanks a bunch for taking the time to do it. It’s created a whole little social network, although I’m sure that was not your original intention. If you decide not to continue the blog, we can give you and it a proper send off on the 24th!

Annette // Oct 17, 2007 at 10:24 am

Katherine, Oh yes, I use to love Kevin Costner, then he started running around on his wife who supported him in the poor times. But he still looks good. Now Denzel is a great actor and very good on the eyes. He is married to the same woman. So he is a nice guy. Now bad boys, that is ALex Baldwin, but he is a great actor.
Joe, who is your favorite Bond. The young me was in love with Sean Connery but the old me is in love with Daniel Craig. Hey I can change.

Annette // Oct 17, 2007 at 10:26 am

You know Joe, you never answer my questions. I think most people ignore me. Oh well I should be use to it.

Does your new job involve fundraising and going out of town a lot
have a great and relaxing day

Md. Mama // Oct 17, 2007 at 10:52 am

Annette - Kevin Costner in “Robin Hood, Prince of Theives”. This is one of my all time favorite movies. But unfortunately for Kevin, he is the weakest link in the movie. Everyone else is superb. He wants to play the hero, but just can’t pull it off, and the only one who didn’t have a English accent, not good. He has been good in other films, such as, “The Bodyguard”.

Joe- ok, I’m also gonna take a stab at a guess at your new job. It’s a non-profit, so I’ll guess maybe Marketing or Development….I know you won’t tell, but maybe we can still beat it out of Andrew! :) No,…. I know, as I said before, Loose Lips Sink Ships!!!

Md. Mama // Oct 17, 2007 at 12:31 pm

You have some v-e-r-y interesting ads from Google today………

Janet // Oct 17, 2007 at 1:28 pm

Did y’all see the Today show this a.m.? Some minister wrote a book about complaining. He says or rather he challenged folks to stop complaining for 21 days. You’re supposed to wear a bracelet and every time you catch yourself complaining about something, you’re supposed to move your bracelet to the other wrist. Supposedly, if you do this for 21 days, you’ll stop complaining. I may try this although I don’t think I complain all that much but I guess I may be surprised. :)

Annette // Oct 17, 2007 at 1:38 pm

Wait a minutes. You do answer most of my questions. Sorry, I am at the age of forgetting now. I am like MD. Mama, I will will miss your blog if you are too busy with your new job to continue to write it but we want you to be very successful and do not want this blog to get you doing too much. You know writers do not know how to multi-task.

Janet // Oct 17, 2007 at 1:40 pm

Here’s the link to the 21 day thing I was talking about earlier:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21319881/

Annette // Oct 17, 2007 at 3:29 pm

Oh know, Joe wants to check our background. I hope he does not find out I just got out of Sing-Sing.

Md. Mama // Oct 17, 2007 at 3:54 pm

Janet - thanks for sharing that link. That article really got me to thinking about how we all complain, however innocently, everyday. Heck, I was just complaining about the weather again yesterday (but not to you all)and about my son’s use of the cell phone (although that may be an exception). If people stopped complaining, it would really cut down on conversation! :) I do like his whole idea of negative v. positive energy. If we didn’t focus so much on the negative, we’ve have more time for the positive.

Katherine // Oct 17, 2007 at 8:00 pm

MM,

lol, I saw that also ( the ads ) and almost clicked on The Bodyguard and Home Personal Protection, just to see for me, myself & I. Will have to check it out.

Ladies, if you live alone, you need to know these things. I haven’t clicked on them yet to see, but you can never be too careful. Just today, I made a few phone calls & had a few things ‘upgraded’ myself. I also had a friend check out a few things I have here just to make sure I know how to use these whachamacalits.
Just always be prepared, you never know with all the idiots in this world now!
Remember when we didn’t even lock our car doors? And long ago, you may have left the doors unlocked for your kids without a key? !!!!!!!

Katherine // Oct 17, 2007 at 10:13 pm

Where did the ads go? They’re changed, .. I shoudda looked when I was here earlier ~
Maybe ‘paint’ got splattered on them ?

ps. I watched some of Big Dog or Bad Dog last night.. why did he keep wearing long sleeve shirts? only watched it to see his arms. I was very dissappointed…….

Md. Mama // Oct 17, 2007 at 11:04 pm

Katherine-
Earlier today there were some ads here that Joe would not have approved of. They were starting to cross that Family-PG-13 line! I was quite taken back when I saw them. I assume they come up and change randomly, but I haven’t see anything similar before!

Katherine // Oct 18, 2007 at 8:18 pm

.. now I remember,
Hilary Swank.. she was with Clint in Million dollar baby. I saw her name in the paper today.
VERY good actress.. I love her!! She’s right up there with Julia with that great big smile too.

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